Oh, luxurious yawnage. I felt like a person again today, for the first time in a little while. Home alone for most of the day, I cleaned the place up a little, wrote out a list of Christmas/Chanukkah gifts I'll be purchasing... hopefully within the week, played a little guitar, and even watched a couple episodes of Samurai Jack and a movie.
It's been very calm. I don't know when I got un-used to that, but I really enjoyed it today. Lately I've found myself becoming less and less joyful with life, you know? When you get in that little rut where you get up five minutes later every day until you've got less than half an hour to get to work? And then, when you get there, you are still very tired and yawny, and you don't want to talk to anyone, you can't wait to get home... But when you get home, you're exhausted and you just want to go to bed... It's a vicious cycle.
And very unusual for me, I might add. I love winter and Christmas and the whole season... Sights, smells, sounds - all the work and the whole bit. I really do. This is where I always feel like I belong. But it all sort of felt rushed this year, until today.
I breathe the very deliberately today. And, as I write it all out, I find myself actually becoming a kind of excited about the holidays for the first time this year. Like I finally took a second to realise how little all the little things are that have been tripping me up all this time, and how it's all supposed to be about God and God being so big.... For some reason, when I think about God being big, I imagine a very light transparent blanket settling over a sleepy little town that is very dark and blueish with bright yellow windows, sort of like a sheet settles on a bed after you shake it. I think that probably makes more sense as an imaginary thing, but I just thought I'd throw it out there.
Good exercise shoes equal less injuries
9 years ago
