This morning I wanted to leave. 

I was in the middle of a sentence to Lauren about something she had to do (which I can't help having to say since it wouldn't otherwise be done) and I saw her eyes glaze over and lean toward the back of her head where I'm sure she held a picture of a certain AAR band member-- specifically stored to reference during my sentences: anyway, she was completely tuned out... And I just had it. 

A sudden urge to just grab keys and money and go until I ran out of gas just gripped me, tightly. And I couldn't. I still can't. This is probably one of those weekends that I will look back on forever as invariably life-altering, aging, and monumentally important... Why?

Because I met my stepmom today. This is the first time I call her that. 

She was here for about an hour; tiny, nervous, and adorable in her appropriately Summery dress. Her milky complexion and salient blue eyes framed in shimmering golden curls. She's coming back tomorrow to help make and have dinner with us before her flight back to New York.

I think the stress of the week, with my first lab class and all this emotional wedding craziness, plus another trainee quitting and screwing up my work schedule is starting to get to me. I should be more excited, but I am just too exhausted to feel much. All I really want is sleep. Good, long, deep sleep. I keep imagining staying in bed for an entire day. No food, no anything, just alternately dozing and sleeping... And I'll feel useless until I get it.  

Maybe I wanted to leave because I was afraid and it just happened to hit me at that particular moment. Though I don't know what I'd be afraid of - besides change, I guess. I suppose I am a little afraid of that. 

As my Dad was walking out the door to pick Her up from the airport yesterday he stopped, turned around to look over the room, and said gently, perhaps even to himself, "I guess I really am about to change our lives." 

It seemed like it had finally hit him. The purpose of everything we had all been working on for the last month straight, and the years of unknown preparation beforehand, were being realized, congealing...  I think it was one of those things you had to see to understand, to feel the tingle of the tension in the room, all of us standing silent, but there was an inexplicable profundity in it; the moment, I mean. As if the life-change itself were taking place that very second... And, hey, who knows? Maybe it did. 

 

And so begins the arduous and painfully lengthy process of preparing our house for a very special visit at the end of the month. And the eventual addition of four more people - which will make eight. Whoa.

Unfortunately, or fortunately depending upon how you look at it, I am unable to help with the beginning tasks of the yardwork - as I go to school in the morning/afternoon, and then work all night, arriving home at about eleven-thirty... ish. So I'm sitting here biding the little time I have left to procrastinate studying before the test I have tomorrow. Human Resources Management is interesting - but not on a test.

Feeling guilty at my inability to help, I have been working on laundry and discovering that my dog is not the only one who eats socks. Did I mention that before? I think I did. She eats them whole - but no longer the only one to be blamed. Barney also likes to eat socks - and so does little baby Gary. Who, as a sidenote, actually weighs about thirty-five pounds... at four months. Yeah. Via is a year old, and only weighs about forty-five. So, he's pretty big.

Anyway, it's pretty crazy around here. Work is not my favorite these days. Too much is changing at my location, or too frequently, rather. We had a manager quit about a month ago, the one we have now is moving in two weeks, and her replacement is also going to be moving within a couple months of her arrival - both out of state. So, not the greatest times. Every manager has their own rules they want you to follow, and I'm really not looking forward to that self re-calibration happening three times in the next six months. Luckily, I already vented most of my frustration about that to my brother, so I won't be writing a book about it here. Corporations can be rediculous sometimes though, I gotta say.
It's just another reminder of why I plan to be a business owner: I am allergic to working for The Man.

Time to switch the laundry.

So the truth is...

The crazy thing that has kept me from posting - first because I wasn't allowed to tell anyone, and then because I couldn't figure out how to...

But...


Are you ready...?


... here comes....




.....




MY DAD IS GETTING MARRIED.



Yeah, that's what I said. In a good way. Contrary to the vocal-tone themes of many fo those that I have been able to tell thus far when they say "How do you feel about this?": I am very, very happy for him. It's an answer to prayer. An almost literal Godsend. What am I saying? It is a Godsend.
And it's gonna be crazy: She's moving here from across the country... With her three kids. To live with us in our three-and-a-half bedroom house.
We'll figure it out though. It's not like we haven't had more than eight people living in a single house before - in fact - it might be cool because I grew up that way.
Anyway, I just couldn't wait any longer to break the news, I gotta get ready for work.

Holy Starbucks, I am not ready to close.